10/17/08
69 days and 1
I just looked at my countdown to Christmas gadget. We only have 69 days till Christmas. That means I have 70 days till its been One year since mom died. One year already! Its been a full year too. Vickie has been in 3 different hospitals in 3 different states, thank the good Lord above she is doing okay now. I wrecked DJ's 4 wheeler earlier this summer, hurt my ribs and shoulder, and although I am doing much better, I still have a knot on my left hip. Last month, I got sick and was put into the hospital and had to have my gall bladder removed. A week after my surgery, DJ rode his 4 wheeler off a 100 foot drop and broke his right arm and collar bone, fractured his left knee and busted open his left knee and needed stitches in it. And believe it or not, he went 4 wheeling with Matthew yesterday, with a broken collar bone, and 1 day after getting the cast off his wrist! Crazy boy. Theres been a lot of struggles with settleing moms affairs. Thank the Lord for Renisa and her mother, they prepared moms and our taxes this year. Mom usually did her own and ours. I have to thank the Lord for a lot of people this year. Without them, I don't think I would be sitting here. I would be in a mental hospital! I am missing my mom something awful the last few days, actually for a couple of weeks. I am so thankful that she is with my father and her parents walking on streets of gold and living in a big mansion and that she has seen Jesus and God's beautiful and precious faces. I am thankful that her body is made whole and healed and she is no longer in any pain. I just really miss her. We had our difference in opinions, but she was my mom and I loved her. No matter how mad we got at each other. I miss my dad, but he has been dead more than half of my life now, my memories of him are fading, I can no longer remember the sound of his voice. How do people who don't have faith in the Lord get thru all this? Knowing my family is in Heaven and I will be with them one day is something that I hold on to and gives me strength to go on. I am trying so hard not to be sad, but today its a losing battle. But its okay. I use to think only weak people cried. Now I know better. Only those that love and care for others cry. So, I am not weak! I just care.
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2 comments:
Obviously its different, but I've been thinking about your mom even more lately. I was going to do a post for breast cancer awareness month, but then I would start crying and never finish it. I think you must get weepy as you get older, cause I cry much more than I used too. So by the time we're 50 we'll be crying all the time. :) Mom had a ladies retreat on the same day as the Race for the Cure here and I was kind of glad because I felt like if I did it this year I would have been bawling through that too. Of course, that was probably crazy, its not like I'm not going to cry next year, I just wasn't sure about this year. I don't know how people who don't have faith in Jesus do it either. That really is the only thing that makes death any 'easier' at all. I loved how Larry (your pastor obviously, not my dad) talked about God wanting to take the best with Him sometimes too, because its still hard to understand the why's. Isabella was praying a few weeks ago and I thought for a minute she had forgotten because she started praying for Nunu and Mr. Jack (our neighbor who died 2 months to the day after your mom) and I was getting ready to stop her and she said "pray that they're having fun in heaven." Such childlike faith, not even thinking of us who miss Nunu or Ms. Carol missing Mr. Jack, all that matters is if they are having fun in heaven. :) You really have had a rough year, it sounds even worse now that you write it all out. Maybe this will be your year of trials and next year will be the year of blessings, we can hope right?! :)
Hey, you are falling behind on your post here. There are a lot less days than 69 before Christmas. And BTW Cody said he would help us with the camera thing. So if 3 of us are taking pictures of DJ all at once then he won't know who to go after. LOL
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